Sizing People Up

A Veteran FBI Agent’s User Manual for Behavior Prediction

By Robin Dreeke and Cameron Stauth

About the Book

"Sizing People Up" (2020) delves into the art of reading people through their subtle cues. It covers everything from gauging their thoughts, picking apart their word choice, to recognizing patterns in how they act. This book separates the trustworthy from those you should keep at arm's length.

About the Authors

Robin Dreeke once led the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Program and brings over three decades of expertise in understanding human behavior and building meaningful connections. He's the brains behind People Formula, LLC, a firm dedicated to boosting people's knack for communication and establishing strong rapport.

Cameron Stauth writes with a focus on nonfiction and science, making complex ideas accessible and engaging through his journalistic lens.

Master the Art of Understanding People.

No one succeeds alone. We rely on others for progress, yet not everyone plays for the team. Some lift you up, while others talk you down when you're not looking. You'll find loyal allies and fair-weather friends alike.

Acknowledging this fact is tough, especially when so much—from your career growth to personal relationships—hangs in the balance. Recognizing who's trustworthy and who's not is crucial. That's exactly what you'll learn from this book. It teaches you to notice and interpret the subtle cues people emit constantly, enabling you to make smarter choices about who to trust.

You'll uncover methods to collect meaningful insights about someone, from their speech patterns to their history, even down to how they present themselves. But it's about digging deeper, uncovering the less obvious signals that betray someone's true nature. After all, sticking together is vital. This book is your guide to figuring out who's worth holding onto tightly—and who to maintain a healthy distance from.

Inside, you'll discover:

• Three traits that signal emotional volatility;

• The significance of an apology, or the lack thereof; and

• The crucial questions that cut to the chase in an interview.

Understanding Behavior Through Context

Ever wonder how well you know the people you work with? Robin Dreeke pondered this on September 11, 2001, while working as a young FBI agent in New York City. As the tragedy of that day unfolded, Dreeke noticed a stark divide: some agents rushed towards danger without hesitation, while others stepped back, choosing self-preservation. This observation led him to a crucial realization about the predictability of human behavior, especially in crisis situations.

Here's the takeaway:

Circumstances often shape people's actions.

Think about it—when trying to gauge how someone might treat you, consider their level of consequence immunity. Power, whether from wealth or status, can shield someone from the fallout of their actions, making their behavior harder to predict. They can afford to take risks or act out because the usual repercussions don't apply.

Conversely, those more exposed to consequences—those who are vulnerable—are usually more predictable. The risk of punishment for stepping out of line nudges them towards more expected behaviors.

The duration of your connection with someone also plays a role. Short-term interactions might encourage worse behavior since there's little time for fallout or accountability. In contrast, long-term relationships offer ample opportunity for actions to be either rewarded or penalized, encouraging better behavior over time.

But what about trusting your gut? While intuition guides us to trust the likable and doubt the rest, it's not always reliable. Ever trusted someone you liked, only to be let down? Or found dependable support in someone you weren't close to? These experiences highlight why intuition alone can't always predict who will stand by you when it counts.